@MikeBigby: Actually Jesus wasn't the carpenter, Joseph was. You're thinking of the Carpenter's Monster
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@AmishPornStar1: Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?
@sad_tree: [Bank Robbery] Put all the money in the bag and no one- *sees guy wearing a Maroon 5 shirt* MOST people won't get hurt!!
@1followernodad: Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal.