@scorpicpanda: Actually, letting your dog run around the yard while wearing your Fitbit increases the numbers waaaaay better than putting it on your cat.
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@hurlarious: I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops
@TheWadest: Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death.
@cervixsmash: Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing