@scorpicpanda: Actually, letting your dog run around the yard while wearing your Fitbit increases the numbers waaaaay better than putting it on your cat.
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@KevinHart4real: Good morning people.....I woke up feeling myself this morning....wait that doesn't sound right. What I meant is I woke up feeling confidant
@lolajxx: Personal Trainer- So how have you been cutting your carbs? Me-Mostly with a bread knife or a pizza slicer
@iGreenMonk: Someone just saw me trying to take a picture of myself and now I have a dead body to bury.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)