@scorpicpanda: Actually, letting your dog run around the yard while wearing your Fitbit increases the numbers waaaaay better than putting it on your cat.
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@clindsaysway: Whenever I'm in a difficult situation, I think, "What would I do?" so I can do the opposite thing
@PeterClayton6: If you say 'my cocaine' really loudly, you will sound exactly like Michael Caine saying his own name. I will never get tired of this.
@kumailn: The director of "A Girl in the River" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars
@notalogin: With KFC's announcement they've created an edible coffee cup, the chain is ready to face its next challenge: creating edible food.