@alanritchson: Actually officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all speeding
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@alli_win: I'm convinced that Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Oh, you're an early riser? Yes. Have kids? No. A farm? No. Insomnia? No. Medical condition? No. Psycho.
@Brianhopecomedy: *2 year old runs by screaming* *72 ducks chasing her* "YOU HAVE TO LET GO OF THE BREAD."