@benicus_rex: actually these are my therapy bees i'm allowed to take them on the bus with me
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@SureYouDo1: For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope.
@TheMichaelRock: All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!
@Blondiethegood: Bro Transformers are real! Haven't you seen a big truck or a camaro? They are real. They just hide real good like chewbacca. And batman.
@Swain_Train47: Jim: What shall we name our new playground invention? Roy: Idk. The playground business sure is a Jungle, Jim. Jim: ...Say that again.