@Cpin42: Actually, this is my first rodeo. Why is that angry cow trying to kill me?
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@dumbbeezie: When someone tells me they're sick I try to make them feel better with a story about my own sickness that was much worse and many years ago.
@Goldishocks: Just told my kids they had to share. Now they are dressed in long blacks wigs singing if I could turn back time.
@Mr_Kapowski: You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again