@SortaBad: Ad: You like to save money, right?
Me (thinking): dear god, they've read my diary
@Renie_Rivas: My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs.
@HeidiCF8: I put my pants on like everyone else... As the cop taps on the glass and shines his high beam in my face.
@KentTheG: When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, "No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"
@SnizzleFrizzle: My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark.
@NolaChef504: When my boss is mad and takes it out on me, I do less work.
Can't reward bad behavior with a positive response.
Training works both ways