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@david8hughes: [letting my friend hold my newborn baby] Me: careful, don't let it die Friend: dude I have 3 kids of my own Me: sure, 3 we know of
@KattsDogma: "You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD." - 3rd degree burn
@OtherDanOBrien: DENTIST: Been flossing? ME: Yup D: [reaches into my mouth & pulls out a copy of the NY Times dated 7/5/14] I put this in there last time
@bazecraze: If you're thinking of getting a hairless cat, go the extra mile and get a catless cat.