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@Quartzjixler: Her: Is breakfast almost ready? Me: Yeah, I just have to drain the sausage. Her: Can't we please wait till after breakfast for that?
@squirrel74wkgn: [sitting in van] Robber 1: Ready? Robber 2: Let's do this! Me: How do I...*trying to open egg container of pantyhose*...open this?