@JohnLyonTweets: Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
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@erica_rosie: It's 450 BC. Socrates is doing a keg stand at a philosopher frat party. Gets the nickname SoCRAYtes. Nobody takes him seriously ever again.
@StellaRtwot: Instagram better not use my cloud pics. THEY'RE MY CLOUDS GET YOUR OWN CLOUDS ZUCKERBERG!
@notacroc: Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen