@JohnLyonTweets: Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
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@Vodkantots: I thought I found my soul mate for a minute there, but he was just a pervert on the internet. *runs after him
@murrman5: I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*
@sumpeoplelikeit: If you have a tattoo on your head, you've lost the right to ask me what I'm looking at.