@Staggfilms: ADAM: [rummaging through a pile of leaves] EVE, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WORK CLOTHES, HONEY?
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@KentWGraham: I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.
@Fickle_Filly: Up to 300 serial killers are active every day but the good news is that some of us have been incapacitated by the internet.
@Jam453Lane: When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house.