@bloodhaiI: [adam sandler voice] oh yesh das right
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@XplodingUnicorn: My wife said she wanted to do it missionary style, so I forced her to change religions and gave her smallpox.
@PyrBliss: This girl just said, "You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?" and I was all like, "Nope." and walked away.
@Iwriteforcats: Hideous monsters for sale! Selling cheap! Crazy wild beasts! Won't last long! "Honey, stop trying to sell the kids."
@flashember: JUDGE: That THING cannot enter ME: But Inky is my pet OCTOPUS IN AN ASTRONAUT'S HELMET FILLED WITH WATER:*squirts ink at him* INKY NOOOOo