@obviousplant_: Added some new forms of payment to this store...
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@dhumann: Psychiatrist: "Your check bounced and was returned for insufficient funds." Me: "So how does that make you feel?"
@ShutUpThatsWho: [pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*
@MartinPilgrim1: A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword. Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me.