@MilkshakeAnyone: Addicted to pills? Don't worry. They have a pill for that.
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@Muath_tu: My neighbor doesn't like it when I put garbage in his backyard so I stopped burying people there.
@T_N_Crumpets: *Bruno Mars on the radio* Wife: Would you catch a grenade for me? Brain: Just say, YES! Me: Has the pin been pulled? Brain: Idiot!