@kelkulus: Adding "family" to words sucks out all the fun: Vacation? Family vacation. Car? Family car. Movie? Family movie. Affair? Family affair.
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@thatdutchperson: [first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally
@jakob_huber: Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
@AddledPixie: I've trapped dozens of birds and woodland creatures in my room but not one has helped me get dressed, and they're just shitting everywhere.