@fillthevacuum: *adds resume embellisher to resume*
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@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter has taught me anything it's that the best career choice is divorce lawyer.
@j88ess: Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013. Stare at your phone like a normal person
@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.