@fillthevacuum: *adds resume embellisher to resume*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nojeshua: [mysterious British man rescues me] Me: How? Him: Bond [introducing himself as we leave prison], bail bond.
@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.
@Brampersandon_: ME (watching a sea of a million llamas stampede over the horizon): dear God, it's the alpacalypse