@poizngrl: ADHD in the streets
Naughty fr...so hey, does anyone want to play Sonic the Hedgehog?
@ChicorelliStar: Just found out my daughter's super power is repeating what I've said about others as soon as she meets them.
@joejwest: ME: [bumps man]
MAN: [spills coffee] Say sorry
MAN: Then I'll see you in court
ME: [remembers I own a camouflage suit] You won't
@joci2203: Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over Miss?
Me:[takes a quick suck off helium balloon] No officer why?
@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday.
@Cherbearxo: I promised my trainer that I'd set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there's a lunar eclipse I work out.