@jazmasta: *Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?
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@nd_L_: If only the person that named “walkie talkies” had been in charge of naming so many more household objects.
@Lisa_Laughs_: In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking.
@adamallday: I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.