@FussySaffa: Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie
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@comer310: Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook.
@khook32: My husband really loves our new couch. In fact, he loves it so much he called me his exwife's name just so he could sleep on it.
@GianDoh: If someone says "With all due respect," what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you.
@JamieGreenlees: My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :(