@eedrk: adrenaline does crazy shit to the human body. i saw a lady trapped under a car and suddenly felt a surge of energy so i went to the gym
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@seandunn76: 4 in 3 people have syphilis. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of you has syphilis twice.
@JasonLastname: Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends.
@sofarrsogud: [TRYING TO IMPRESS NEW GIRLFRIEND] 'Oh yeah, I love to cook!' *removes salad from the microwave