@leshnevsky: Adroit python swallowed male and female rabbits and doesn't need a food anymore.
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@JohnLyonTweets: I wish the Antiques Roadshow guy had just told me how much my swords were worth without getting all nosy about where the blood came from.
@chopper4jk: When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!
@OuterJohn: Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon.