@leshnevsky: Adroit python swallowed male and female rabbits and doesn't need a food anymore.
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@5hael: Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?
@Tommytoughstuff: Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me.
@shanethevein: The doctor asked if I was sexual active. I shook my head and said "Not in front of the wife".