@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.
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@_sweet_ham: I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
@iwearaonesie: girlfriend asks you to get wine: You're getting laid wife asks you to get wine: You're getting yelled at
@CJhooray: "Damn do you have a wizard wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;)" *pulls wand from pocket* "I haven't been happy in years"