@INDlAN_: Adulthood is like looking both sides before crossing the street and them getting hit by an airplane.
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@juliussharpe: I just hope this Justin Bieber thing doesn't make all yellow Lamborghini owners look bad.
@HomeProbably: The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas.
@thagr8short1: I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there.
@Godhatespants: Actual air attendant: "Secure your mask before helping your kids.if you have multiple, pick the one with the highest earning potential 1st"