@Ditchful: adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane
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@isabelzawtun: Archaeologist 1: she must have died suddenly, a mug of tea was still in her microwave Archaeologist 2: actually we carbon dated the tea and she died a week afterwards
@DiamondLou69: "I'm definitely gonna hit that later tonight!" - Me pointing out the light pole in the parking lot of the bar.
@OutOnTheMoors: Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.
@KrissiBex: I love kids...But stop making me hold your baby. Why are you letting people touch your new born?!? I don't let people touch my new iPhone