@Elizasoul80: Adulthood is like the part in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy tries to runaway from her problems, but then SURPRISE, there is also a tornado.
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@dafloydsta: [death row] GUARD: Ok, here's your last meal. Bon appétit. CAT: *slowly pushes meal off table*
@flashember: [Stock market crashes] "Oh no, I better check on my investments!" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]
@rotten_mama: Parenting 101 8: I'm worried dolphins will be become endangered. Me: Every time you don't clean your room a dolphin dies.