@Smethanie: Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.
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@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.
@EJGomez: [holding my aunts stupid idiot baby] what sound does a cow make "moo!" good now a dog "woof woof!" 2 for 2. now...WHERES THAT MISSING PLANE