@HallpassCanada: Adults with big round heads have kids with big round heads so for god sakes please try to date outside your head shape.
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@Manda_like_wine: My 4yo just came into the living room, crying, "I don't want Santa to see me when I poo."
@Donnie_Fairburn: Just installed the iOS 9 update and I've already noticed a significant increase in my phone's battery life! This is aweso
@UncleDuke1969: Me: I haven’t tweeted in days. Wife: Oh no! Hold on… *opens laptop *types Wife: Phew! Me: What? Wife: Looks like the Internet survived.