@kumailn: Advertisers think we're like "Oh a pop-up ad is in the way of the thing I actually want to watch? I should purchase whatever it's selling!"
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@SteveSuckington: Eat shit dude! No seriously, it's good for your eyes. You've never seen a dog with glasses have you?
@glittergirlD43: Hey NSA... I accidentally deleted an email... Can I get you to forward me your copy?
@ComedicBust: Whenever I kill an ant, I always assume a surviving ant tells the rest of the ants and they have a meeting on how to kill me in my sleep.
@SnizzleFrizzle: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high.