@KeetPotato: advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being "better than sex" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them
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@Sanbel11: I just bought a beautiful 18th century bowl. It even has a little sign on the bottom that says dishwasher safe.
@KeetPotato: [undoes GFs bra first time] "wow have you been practicing?" don't be ridiculous [me and dog exchange glances]
@causticbob: What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round.