@KeetPotato: advice: describing someone's cupcakes as being "better than sex" is only a compliment if you aren't sleeping with them
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@T_Bonezzz_: I like to put a few lawnmowers in the back of my truck and follow landscapers all day just to make them nervous
@Nikkeya08: We're just two people shitting in side by side stalls waiting for the other person to go out so we don't have to show our face
@rickolantern: My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
@krisv_723: I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes.