@ProBirdRights: Advice tip for people: 1 stick hand in glue 2 stick hand in feather 3 now you are like bird. Impress your friend.
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@Metalligretch: Yelling "wooooo" when the singer says the name of your town is what separates us from the animals.
@Reverend_Scott: [blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) "So what do u do?" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]
@MarcusTheToken: Always carry a newspaper or magazine so you appear to be preoccupied. - stalker handbook page 2 paragraph 3
@LurkAtHomeMom: I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers.