@imshitimsorry: aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?
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@KeetPotato: [paddling along the amazon silently in a kayak] wife: "it's so beautiful" me: "can you believe they named this after a website?"
@Jacksawyerr: Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago.
@Donna_McCoy: My coworkers have such cute nicknames for me, like "The one who eats all the donuts" and "Don't tell her there's pizza in the kitchen".
@Kyle_Lippert: Your Game of Thrones name is your biggest fear spelled backwards plus the profession your guidance counselor suggested. Mine is Snwolc Clown