@Lowenaffchen: *affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible
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@eliyudin: "WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED!" "EARTH" "WIND" "WATER" "FIRE" "HEART" "SELF-LOATHING" get outta here Eli "SORRY"
@WilliamAder: If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
@Ilovelamp1979: One of the worst things about tweeting while driving is all of the people that seem to appear out of nowhere on the sidewalk.