@realHamOnWry: After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US is about to unleash its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date…the American tourist.
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@Sickayduh: I tried to kill a spider by drowning it in douche and now it keeps picking fights with me on social media
@shutupmikeginn: A dog is in my studio apartment and he keeps looking around for other rooms. I wish i was doing a little better too dude !
@CornOnTheGoblin: [telling a scary story to a group of moths] and when she opened the door..[holds flashlight to face] she- AH GET OFF OF ME YOU GUYS
@3sunzzz: [lunch date] "I'll have a salad." Narrator: Ursula then returns home and eats Fritos, Cool Whip and what appears to be leftover meatloaf.