@withanewname: After a failed college project to fight hunger, Clark decided to focus on fighting crime and thereby dropping a p from Supperman.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Sorry honey, I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day. Wife: It's not until next week... [one week later] Sorry honey, I didn't...
@Teowulf: We get it - "Bacardi" rhymes with "party," "bottle" rhymes with "model," and "sex" rhymes with "text." You rappers can stop rapping now.
@Getnosexual: My parenting life wavers between "Be original and true to yourself" and "Please don't make the school psychologist call me again this week".
@RandomAntics: When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery.