@wheresthesnacks: After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die.
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@aka_fatman: [birdwatching] Ah, let us behold the majesty of the Bald eagle. And let us acknowledge the social awkwardness of the Combover eagle.
@BoscoPorter: Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of shit?"