@13spencer: After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward.
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@littlekitnerboy: If there's one thing that Twitter has taught me its that all the weird kids in school eventually find each other.
@rockymomax: [before sex] HER: did you bring protection? ME: heck ya I did *slowly reaches into back pocket and pulls out nunchucks*
@MoneypennyNaked: Apparently even if you delete the drunk text messages you sent last night from your phone, the other person can still see them.