@13spencer: After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward.
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@GrantTanaka: Wife just found out my ring tone for her is "ding dong the witch is dead" so if anyone wants to race to Canada READY SET GO
@nbadag: [commercial] WOMAN: have u ever wondered what would happen if a car alarm could swim? NARRATOR: geese
@mjkspeaks: The worst thing about life is getting comfortable and then realizing that you don't have the remote.