@13spencer: After Captain America was thawed from the ice, his first encounter with a Japanese-American must've been really awkward.
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@AcrimoniousClwn: Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I'd own this place.
@Reverend_Scott: Apparently you can't make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don't waste your time.
@Bob_Janke: Paris Hilton is worried ISIS will target her because she's famous. Paris Hilton doesn't realize that ISIS didn't exist in 2004.