@AngelaEhh: Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more.

@bea_ker: [circus school] "So to tame the lion, you have this whip..." What if the lion's too close? [picking up tiny stool] "we've thought of that"

@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *throws banana and waits for it to return, boomerang style* that's the last time I ever believe anything I read on Yahoo Answers...

@BLoveAffair: Everybody wants to be wanted, except maybe fugitives.

@HallpassCanada: Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write "GREAT" on the side of thier car with my keys!