@ehdannyboy: To tell the difference between an African and an Indian elephant, you look at its ears, then lift one up and shout "WHERE ARE YOU FROM M8?"
@TheAlexP: Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said.
@NoTheOtherJohn: *doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don't stand for national anthem*
@Brampersandon_: *zips up tent*
[Wife]: What happened
[Me,scratched up & clothes ripped]: I was uh..
*flashback to me being chased by a bee* wrestling a bear
@tamytoo2: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me:I'm cute?
Cop: Nope
Me: you like my car?
Cop: Nope
Me: I could do this all day.
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