@jazmasta: After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.
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@KevinFarzad: Every political Facebook status should start with, "First of all, I have no idea what I'm talking about."
@PinkCamoTO: I never realized just how much of parenting is surreptitiously throwing away artwork.
@GoldenSpirals: [At Vision Center] Receptionist: Which Doctor would you like to see? Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.