@jazmasta: After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.
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@ddsmidt: Estimated assembly time said 20 minutes, it took much longer than that. Clearly the instruction writer is overly confident in his skills.
@Mr_Kapowski: Lawyer: Zack’s will has allocated money for two headstones *my wife dabs the corners of her eyes with a tissue* Lawyer: The first one shall just read HEADSTONE. The second will be placed 6 feet away and read FEETSTONE
@tastefactory: PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord BRB - Burn Religious Books TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi