@jazmasta: After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family.
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@JermHimselfish: I hate when I find a show on TV that I like and I start to get into it and then I realize that it's my neighbor's window and he looks angry.
@girlwithatail: This woman's "I'm deleting my Facebook" post has 52 comments and she's replied to all of them. Not a strong start.
@SemFitty: Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins? Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.
@onion_an: Gf: Remember that night we had unprotected sex Me: Yeah Gf: I'm having twins Me suspiciously: We only did it once why's there two babies