@GuyEndoreKaiser: After he loses, everyone who supported Trump should have to spend a year on an island where he gets to make all the decisions.
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@batkaren: [orchestra] VIOLIN 1: *pssst* Can I ask you a dumb question? VIOLIN 2: Um, okay. V1: What's up w/the guy in front waving his arms around?
@carlyken: If Liam Neeson keeps starring in the same film pretty soon he's going to be Taken 4: Granted
@myles_morrison: The power going out for 15 minutes is enough to crush any fantasy I have about surviving a zombie apocalypse.
@Jay_FrickinLynn: M: If I cashew looking through my windows agai- H: What? M: I saw you pecan! H: No, I wasn- M: You're macadamian me mad. H: You're nuts.