@bridger_w: After I ask a stranger if I can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond, "I'll keep that in mind" and walk off
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@iamfase: The greatest trick Facebook ever pulled was to convince the world we actually want to keep in touch with people we went to school with.
@abbycohenwl: [cat hospital] Cat Nurse: Let's get you prepped for surgery. *licks patient all over*
@BuckyIsotope: Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert's funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. "Me want cookies," he sadly intones. "Me want cookies."