@SortaBad: After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@amishschool: Think my wife is a little OCD since whenever I go out with the kids I need to come home with the exact same amount.
@themorris23: *Hulk smashes thru courtroom wall* SOMEONE ASK FOR INCREDIBLE WITNESS?! Judge- no, CREDIBLE! Hulk- shit HULK VERRY SORRY BOUT YOUR WALL
@TheMichaelRock: Caller: Is Mr. Rock available? Me: Yeah, hold on. *hands phone to 5yo* Me: It's grandma, buddy. Tell her about Caillou.
@TheAlexNevil: *first date (Me, texting) This is awful. She's boring, has no sense of humor & rude Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?