@SortaBad: After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.
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@ThisOneSayz: *Standing in my shower* I wasn't being attacked, I was just really trying to hit that Mariah Carey note, officer.
@WilliamRodgers: "We need something strong and durable to protect cellphones from damage" LG: Plastic? Samsung: Metal? iPhone 8: What about Glass?
@Sean_Burgundy_: Not to brag, but all 6 of my previous therapists are having successful careers in different fields now
@Thynebear: [Gets on one knee] Margaret- [Pulls out ring] Will you- will you please hide this, Gollum won't stop following me.