@Mr_Kapowski: After incorrectly spelling my symptoms at least 100 times, WebMD kicked back "Listen idiot, you're drunk. Just go lay down"
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@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
@UncleDuke1969: Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night.
@JaneBadall: Fondly remembering a time when I could wear an over-sized guy's cardigan and still look pretty sexy, now I just look like a crazy bag lady.
@JimCarrey: Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)