@Mr_Kapowski: After incorrectly spelling my symptoms at least 100 times, WebMD kicked back "Listen idiot, you're drunk. Just go lay down"
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@FatherWithTwins: Stickiest things in the world: 3) Lollipops 2) Glue 1) Children's library books
@Diversion50: "Get Well Soon" is a lovely thing to write on a card for someone whose home is without a water supply.
@causticbob: An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria. Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam.
@Tmoney68: Don't tell me I don't know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one.