@Mr_Kapowski: After incorrectly spelling my symptoms at least 100 times, WebMD kicked back "Listen idiot, you're drunk. Just go lay down"
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@moose_chocolate: The groundhog in our town died on Sunday. I can't imagine how long our winter will be now.
@jenyb4: Um, hi. How much is the rent for this amazing apartment? Ma'am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.
@robfee: Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song about how great Alabama is, and the only thing they could come up with is that the sky is really blue.