@ilovepie84: After killing a spider I wrap the web around his neck and hang him from the wall to make it look like a suicide.
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@theshamingofjay: A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents
@ThaJawn: *sees neighbors bringing in KFC *knocks on door Have you seen my dog she got out *teary eyed Neighbor: Aw. No, but if there's- Some KFC?
@GrabTheWEness: I was really into the idea of Salsa dancing, until I learned there are no chips. Or salsa.