@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
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@SkunkFarts: Once I meet a hot chick I automatically give her money. So if she says I'm stalking her I can tell the cops she's a hooker.
@UnicornSyrup: I put my phone in "airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. It just fell and now my screen is cracked. Worst. Transformer. Ever .