@Dirty_Naomi: After mating, a female Praying Mantis kills & eat's the male. Guess she knows it's easier to claim life insurance rather than child support.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Thanks for telling me this is your "pet cat" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat.
@unravelingfire: When I count my blessings, I count you twice, subtract 4, multiply by 8, and divide by 15 because I don't know how math or blessings work.
@theshamingofjay: If the picture you took of the bad weather while driving isn't followed by a picture of your car crash then it wasn't that bad.
@TraitorousFinn: *Kylo Ren pranks calls Finn* Hey Finn I bet you shop at *dramatic pause* Traitor Joes!!! *High fives Hux*