@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
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@SirEviscerate: If Kellyanne Conway is right and microwaves spy on us, the CIA has a hell of a lot of data on me reheating coffee then forgetting about it.
@vaniaperruzza: When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response? I like to be prepared.
@DanMentos: *surgeon opens cooler during transplant* *cooler is full of Gatorade* "Wait but this means…" *cut to surgeon's kids dumping kidney on coach*
@Miniwheats2012: My version of "naked and afraid" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise.