@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
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@XplodingUnicorn: Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life.
@aSapCoolDad: *shows up to marathon with perfect hair* Yeah I've been conditioning a lot for this race
@amydillon: It's not a family vacation until someone threatens to throw a prized possession from a moving vehicle.
@WilliamAder: My wife's been working in our garden for two solid days now. I never realized tomatoes required a big, six-foot-deep hole like that.