@Parentpains: After placing me in charge of training new employees I can't help but question my companies' commitment to success.
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@regular_rebelme: If you ask me to hold your drink, I will. But I will also drink it. So..you know.
@TheHyyyype: [first day as a detective] ME: omg nothing but his skeleton is left! OTHER DETECTIVE: this is a halloween store. the dead guy's over there
@cjcapbt: I'm just like Bob Marley but not black or Jamaican or talented or dead but my hair gets tangly .
@OctopusCaveman: [Starbucks] Me: I'll have a grande vanilla latte. Barista: Soy milk? Me: Hola Milk. Una gran latte de vainilla por favor.