@Parentpains: After placing me in charge of training new employees I can't help but question my companies' commitment to success.
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@FattMernandez: Walk like an Egyptian is a song, but also a sure fire way to make it safely through a bad neighborhood.
@TheBosha: Each year more people die in bathtub accidents than plane accidents, but any idiot thinking they can fly a bathtub deserves what they get.
@GloriaFallon123: You know you do too much online shopping when your kids start drawing pictures for the UPS man.