@OreoSpeedwagon_: After seeing a commercial for Toddlers In Tiaras, I realise Darth Vader wasn't the worst parent ever.
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@BDGarp: Me: Have fun on your date. Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high? Me: You really aren't my kid are you?
@shanethevein: I see dead people. Well technically they're stupid people, but give me a few minutes.
@Scorpio1080: Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!
@dril: BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES