@OreoSpeedwagon_: After seeing a commercial for Toddlers In Tiaras, I realise Darth Vader wasn't the worst parent ever.
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@MichaelaOkla: Imagine getting married and you write your own vows and it’s beautiful and everyone is sobbing and after the wedding your husband hands you the vows he wrote down in a sweet glass case to keep forever and you read them and the first line reads “your my soulmate”
@sip_at_home_mom: My son uses eating utensils with the accuracy and success of the most rigged claw crane game.
@PaigeKellerman: Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling "The laptop's not a touch screen," at my kids.
@iamspacegirl: *I open my McDonald's bag and a bunch of dirty pigeons fly out* Narrator: The McPigeon, new from McDonald's