@Shock_Monster: After seeing some of the names on kids these days, you wonder if their parents were going all in for the Triple Word Score.
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@BigBagOfScum: All my Facebook friends are starting to have kids. Better deactivate my acct. before they try to guilt me into liking pics of their aliens.
@weinerdog4life: As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit
@jergarl: In my defense, my response to her inquiry as to how my day was going was "I'm less stabby than normal" not "Please tell me about your cat."
@MrSpoonicorn: *picks up the bagel again* sorry i gotta take this one *leaves office & talks on the bagel for 15 minutes solid*