@THEPokerWife: After seeing your latest selfie ... And knowing what you look like in real life.... I'd like to hire you for your photoshopping abilities.
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@themorris23: And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no "non creepy" way to ask where the Vaseline is.
@EJGomez: kanye west: beyoncé is the best there is & she's one of the few true artists of our generation me: kanye: me: how did u get in my room again
@SortaBad: "I'm excited for the continental breakfast" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* "What the..." Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica