@LindaInDisguise: After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do.
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@dubiousrhetoric: People: why do dogs bark at the mail man every single day Dogs: the mailman has literally never gotten in how do you not see what I'm doing
@MissScarlettK: I'm a pretty confident woman until I walk out of the grocery store & try to find where I parked.
@caliluvgirl77: [staff meeting] "Ya so heads up, someone grabbed my lunch from the fridge, and there's a 420% chance you shouldn't eat the brownie inside"
@LizHackett: Hi, famous people getting DUIs. You know you can probably afford a driver, right? Just a thought.