@noog: After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
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@TheToddWilliams: Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime; teach a man to catfish and he can trick some perv in Omaha into sending him rent money.
@OwensDamien: ‘I murder drifters and use their hair to make little dolls. Oh, you meant at work! My biggest weakness is that I’m a perfectionist.’
@sirmunchie: JUST ONCE MORE! PLEEEEEEASE? I PROMISE THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME! LET ME DO IT AND I'LL NEVER ASK AGAIN! -Liam Neeson pitching "Taken 3"
@Chel__CLE: Until a pregnancy test commercial involves a chick hysterically crying & screaming MY LIFE IS OVER, it's not real life.