@noog: After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
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@Tmoney68: Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it. Whiskey: Yes you can.
@IvoryGazelle: *Abandons ship* *Ship gets adopted* *Tracks down ship in adulthood* *Ship is happy and wants nothing to do with me*
@cray_at_home_ma: Welcome to my home! No you're mistaken, it isn't a mess, it's just gallery-style so you can see everything we own at once. Watch your step.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife: "What are you doing?" "Having an argument on Twitter" "With a man or woman?" "A lamp."